Sun 23 Dec 2007
We, boys, are all the same, you, girls are all the same, too! But why I am not like others?!!! Why are not my deeds and actions and feelings are as the same as other boys? Why aren`t I thinking and behaving like others? Do you have any idea? I think I am completely strange!
I have always hated the relationships of boyfriends and girlfriends! What a reason is there behind its ideology? In my opinion, just there are two kinds of relationship: first and the most important is friendship, and the other is marital relation which is a sub-category of the first one. I mean there is nothing else between these two kinds; two people must be friends of each other or husband and wife of each other! That friendship which I note here is not related to sexual relations at all! It refers to a very lovely friendship and a very high ranked relation that exists between two people, between father and his son, between mother and her daughter, even between a wife and a husband! The relation that the gender of the parties is not important at all! Both sides are just with each other and none of them wants to exploit the other! I always try hard to make this one, and never differentiate between my friends, if they are girls or boys, even between my students, those who were my students and know me can witness that I have never had such behaviors that their gender is important for me, even if I have loved one! I do not differentiate between them unless about their abilities and the power of their minds towards learning! I treat with boys and girls in the same way such that never had I been the opposite party!
Even in the university I had a very friendly relationship with all my classmates, except two or three of them! I loved HER but never I allowed myself to exploit HER, to abuse HER or HER trustiness towards me, I loved HER, and I tried hard all the time that show HER my feelings and my love, but never did I impose myself to HER, she always was free and felt relaxed with me, no pressure at all, no wanting, or even no luster, I loved HER just because of HERSELF, I loved to be with HER all the time, but not due to that restricted HER or forced HER. I always respected HER and from the first time of meeting, I insisted on being familiar with HER family and they knew me, mine HER, all our relations were under their awareness and control, even HER mother loved me so much like her sons, I love her like my mom! But others are not like me! God knows… We always spoke about university affairs, work and mostly SHE talked to me about HER personal affairs, … We never went out together nor without our family's attention and awareness we never see each other! I do not remember an occasion that we walked side by side, taking our hands along the street, even after we got engaged! But …
My sister is 18 years old, and this year she could enter the university in the field of literature. She is a great chess player and she is its couch, too; she teaches it. But she is a little bit naughty, and like these-day typical boys and girls. We are friends more than sister and brother. She had a boyfriend, who was from Miane, working here in Iran Khodro workshop, 28 years old! I did not know any thing about it, until my uncle once called me that he saw her and him together, and hit her in her face, made her bloody and injured! I got angry at him and what he did. I talked to her, and she opened her heart for me, telling that he was a very good boy, wanting to get marry with her, loved her… I explained her that maybe his feelings towards her were correct, but the problem was her, herself! I explained that she was too young and some how too child to make decisions and think about these kinds of deeds. She should let the time pass, until reaching to 23-24 and then think about these kinds of affairs! If he loved her, he would wait, if not it was better he left! She accepted my idea, and she broke up with him. I suggested her to continue her educations and classes and did not think about that. And if another cases happened to her, you see, it is impossible to prevent boys not to fall in love with girls, some kind of puppy love of course, and I said that if again some body expressed love towards her, tell him respectfully " please speak with my brother, and whatever he tells is ok."" I did not allow my family know about it any more, or did some bothering on her and hit her just because of love of others!
It passed, and I went South, when came back, the performance of our phone was too high and the fee was too unreasonable that my brother decided to get a print to check who is responsible for that! I disagreed, but no one listened to me. All wanted to know more about it!
He went to get that, and I saw wariness on her face! She told me that another one, one of her workmates again expressed love to her! I got surprised! She told me "please, do not let family know about that! I made a big mistake!" he is 19 years old, and a student in
I called the boy and respectfully said him that if you love her and you are sure that you can manage the life of yourselves, tell your daddy to speak with me! He has not replied yet! He will not call again! I am sure! As I said you, they are completely different form me! It was me that like a man, went forward, and bravely stand against my family's wanting and proposed HER! They are not so! May be you ask this question" if he calls, then what if?" no thing! We should be reasonable with these kinds of affairs! If they love each other and want each other, why not? It is natural feeling and need that every body has! We have mo right to restrict it, or prevent them to be reaching to each other! If so, I myself will help both of them to reach together, and begin their mutual life as soon as possible, and even will help the boy to control the life, because in this way my sister is happy and that is enough for me! Am I right?
