Tue 25 Mar 2008
THE MADNESS AND DICATORSHIP OF MEN
Why do most men and boys act angrily and dictatorially whenever they face a hard situation and unwilling condition of theirs? These men believe that with raising their voices and shouting at the other especially a girl or a woman and treating them irrationally can overcome their failures and wrong acts! Among this majority are my father and my little brother! They are both too impatient especially my brother who my parents have always behaved with him in a way that spoils him and he does his own willing stubbornly and without any acceptance of any body else`s ideas if he has made his mind! Unlike them, I am too patient, I am not boasting about myself, you can ask anybody who knows me, of course I get angry some times, but mostly I can control myself and do not bother the others, unless it got too heavy that I can not control my anger and spoil every thing!!! You know… I hate arguing and quarrelling and in these occasions, I prefer to leave the place and calm then discuss the issue rationally, or if I can not leave the place for any reason, I prefer to keep silent until my mind and the other party get calm and then we discuss… (of course some people in this condition get too furious and angry with this moment of silence, especially girls, since they consider your ignorance towards them, while you do not intend so any more! Some kind of misunderstanding occurs!!! But my brother and father and other men in our family act vice versa! (Maybe their deeds are much more suitable before women and girls! Maybe they know them more than me!!!) But I can not repeat their deeds towards girls and woman, even men and much rank themselves! I believe in mutual respect; I always respect people, and never do I allow myself to argue with them even if the right belongs to me!
But my brother and father … NO!!! Whenever they feel that they get lost, or failed in some thing, they begin their dictatorship and shouting trying to destroy the personality of the other party, threatening her or him and prove that they are authorized and the owner of power! I can not stand this behavior!
Even they easily break their promises and you can not count on their saying whenever the condition changes, you should expect a great change most the time completely opposite in their decisions! They are very unfaithful, while they do some thing for you, even a smallest; they 100 times reminded you that they have done it for you, some how you owe them!!! Especially my brother!!! But I believe that the man must never reminded the thing he done for others… it is finished, simply… (May be they are right, but still I can not do that!) You see… I have done a lot of things for my daddy, his family and my brother, especially financially, with borrowing them or bestowing them, because I understand that he and other youngs do not have any job, and at the same time, they need some money … I do never release any mystery or secret of others, but whenever the condition changes, they do that! I hate this kind of behavior! (you may say… ok… so why are you speaking about the secrets of others here, about their deeds, behaviors, etc. while you are claiming that you never release other`s secrets? I must reply in the occasion of asking this question that I am here opening my heart for my especial friends, to discuss and exchange ideas… not back biting or other similar things… if I do not write here… I will definitely get mad!!!)
Yesterday my brother and I had a bad quarrel that made me so nervous that I got bad headache since then to midnight! He never respects the older siblings… I decided forget every financial affair I have done for him, all my borrowings, and from now, never do I treat any thing for him any more! You know… financial issues destroy every relation, even the friendliest and even the loveliest, I do not know why… but whenever the interests of individual people involves, they forget every thing and just think about themselves! I hate this, too! I do not like money … and its subsequent problems (maybe just because of this I suffer much more of financial problems… and never have I got rich!)
Sun 23 Mar 2008
MEETING PROFESSOR OJAGHLOU
Today finally I went to see my old friends in New Year Eve after 4 days of its beginning! You know… since I can not get along with my paternal families and since their behaviors and thoughts bother me I have not gone to none of their houses as the tradition says for two reasons : first to behave like themselves… as they behave towards others and me… I did it like themselves and the second to punish daddy… to show him that he must abandon the dictatorship and to respect other`s ideas… even if they are against his own! I know some how it was not a suitable act of a educated and open minded person like me… but I have had no other choice to express my opposition, and preventing their future wrong deeds and repetition of previous unpleasant experiences in my future life… I thought my daddy would get so angry at me and wanted to quarrel to me, but he has not express any idea yet… up to now he is friendly… but I know some time later he will do something! I like him!
I went to see my friends, and one of my best friends is Mr. Ojaghlou, an open-minded kind-hearted man, two years older than me and whenever I see him, we talk for a long time… I like him so much maybe even love him! He is married and his house and its furniture are so simple that when you see it, you can not believe that! His kind wife, she is too friendly and too simple and at the same time too respectful! Some times I feel envious for him!!!
He is a professor in the Azad University of Zanjan. His major is Ulume Hadith, a religious branch of theology about Quran and Hadith, he is M.A. and now he is trying to be accepted in P.H.D. he is so lovely man and always smiling and very clever, as I told you, he and I have a lot of things in common… he likes me, too. He did not know about my separation form HER, so he requested me to go his home with my wife… I went there alone, he got bewildered, but I explained what happened, he did not get surprised at all!
He confirmed my acts and said “you did the best thing, if you could not get along with each other, no one else has any right to interval in it… it is related just to you and HER, so do not worry… God likes you that helped you understand the situation before its getting worst.” I described what happened and the family`s acts towards us, and Her unreasonable requests, he again got bewildered… I said him my plans, about the future, job, Lisa and … ; he confirmed it and added “before any contract of marriage, speak together and reach to an agreement, if you both want each other no thing important will happen to obstacle your mutual life.” He said “as you, yourself told, you need to be independent as soon as possible, and them do whatever you, two, want without paying any attention to others, especially your family and even hers, but remember respect them all!”
He is like me against the unreasonable traditions and customs that most the time instead of easing the job, make it harder and more difficult. He suggested “the more you take it easy and get it simple, the better your life will be and the lesser the quarrels and arguments among the families…” he added “as soon as your condition gets better, your job and other things, talk to Lisa, and ask her first if she wants and likes to get married, and then ask her ideas about yourself, whether she wants and likes you? Or loves you? And then go on for details and get to agreement… God will help you, two! Do not worry… HE likes you two that encounters you both to each other!!!” he likes me so much, as I told before, he said “among the English teachers and those who learn English people like you are so rare and unique!” I asked “why do you speak such s this?” he said “because the western culture affects the beliefs and thoughts and they lose their identities… but you have not lost yourself! You are open- minded, and at the same time a believer to kind God… for you a lot of things are important that they even can not think about!” I thanked him, and we said goodbye. What if not all, or 90 % but even almost 10 or 5 % of our people and society and our culture resemble his???? Really what if…?
Fri 21 Mar 2008
WHOEVER COMES INTO OR GOES OUT OF YOU LIFE INFLUENCES IT
This is my first writing in the New Year. And some good news first… Farzad has engaged with his love and apparently now they feel happy… thanks God… and I went to another interview, mostly religious and ideological one 2 days before New Eve, and they said that they will inform me about the result, but I guess I could affect the guy who was taking the interview, and now I am waiting for that… my new book, TOEFL AND IELTS ESSECIAL VOCABULARY (containing more than 1000 new words, expressions, and idioms provided with applicable examples, and their usage in western culture along with correct pronunciations is going to be ready within a few days…
In the life, a lot of people came and gone, some remain for ever as your friends, some leave you so soon that you even can not remember their names… but what I am going to tell is that this coming and going, or this encountering with people who were most the time strangers at first, is not arbitrary! You believe or not, but every one, even a stranger, a passer by in the street, …, affects your life and your future path for continuing the life. I have got in believe that it has doomed by God since He created us! How many people you can remember and call that last year came to your life, who mostly were strangers totally, what influences they have made in your life that affects the routine? Or your ideas and thought? Or even more concrete, in your financial affairs and material desires? In my life… I can count more than 3 new friends that now we have connections of just my going to south, who I like them so much and who were completely strangers for me at first… or I can count 8 friends that were some how familiar with me but not so much intimate, after that occasion, they all got so friendly to me that I felt no longer lonely… even Lisa, she contacted with me last year in these days to congratulate the New Eve, and since then, I have had her beside me, and she affected and still affects my ideas and beliefs so much that all my friends and family confirm that some thing new and some how strange has happened to me when they witness my present actions and compare them to my previous ones, completely varying… all these I have from Lisa since she liked me!
Even those passer bys who you do not even have any contact with them, or talked with them, just looked at them, they influence your life and way of thinking… every thing is going to change… nothing remaining totally unchanged and fixed. So why not the beliefs and ideas change? How many people you can count that you influenced and have had some effects on them? this relation is mutual… that is you at the same time of getting influenced by others, affect them, too. Do you know what remained? Just visions and memories of past… some lines on the brain that every body with their coming and going creates on your mind… that will last… and I always have been trying so that those lines I create on others minds would be good and in positive way… unfortunately some times despite my attempts, I fail and whatever I do affects negatively on others!
