I do not know how I can manage to do my affairs with this bad luckiness I have! Today again I got lost my money, this time doable, 1000000 Rials! How? I do not have any idea! I did my work so precisely and so carefully that I did never expect to have any any mistake, even a smallest! But I had!!!! And I had to pay back the amount plus the previous 500000 Rials! The money has not made me unhappy, nervous, and bad tempered, rather it is the behavior of people who come to the bank and when they recognize any mistake, they keep silent deliberately and take the money that does not belong to them any more, while they call themselves Muslims and believers to God! How stupid we are, when we claim some thing and do some thing else in fact! I do not like the job! I do not like the money! All my friends who know me completely can witness this but this is the force of the situation that I must bear that until I can get used to it! What do you think?!!! I think it is better for me that I resign just now and then follow my dreams and continue my studying until to be a university professor, or I have to bear this condition until the end and finally I could manage to do that! At the first losing of my money, the boss said “you see, here is completely different from the educational and scientific situation! You may be a knowledgeable man and a scientist, but here you must be so careful and exact and pay attention so deeply that as if you are standing on a min and it is going to exploit as soon as you leave your foot or press it! Every moment is vital and stressed and you have to concentrate on the job only!” but how can I do so… when almost all of my mind has been occupied with the love of Lisa and my terrible memories of the past!!!!???? How can I do my job well when I see every where Lisa`s portrait and in my mind… I am talking with her every moment?!!! How can I mange to do it when I do not know what Lisa is thinking of me or having any idea?!!!!

Today my first missing of money occurred and I lost 500000 which I had to pay by my own pocket! I do not know how did it happen… or where did I make mistake?!!! I do not like this job… caring others` money and having a great responsibility and no thing will be for yourself! They all respect me but … take it easy… that`s my doom and I have to tolerate it!

This night when I was coming back form the work, I saw HER, waiting for a taxi while she dropped some thing and a family there, tried to help HER and gather the things… I was in the taxi and passing HER, how beautiful she was and gets!!! How I misses HER! My God… that was not my deserving that you did for me! You… hey hey hey…

Today Dr. Partoie, the principle of Azad University called me to see him and then he suggested me  that I teach in the university hourly… I said I can just teach there in the afternoons and three times a week, not more! You know… I do not like working in a bank…. I hate money but… in the bank I have to work just with that! But I have no other choice… my family think that it is good for me… not the family but most of friends… not my new colleagues… they have an other idea… and I just go there because of my Lisa and her future … to make the future better and better.. but I am not sure that I have chosen the correct way!  I am still waiting for Lisa and her friendly and kind smses … not calls! I have really missed her so much…